Permission to Fail, Captain

Make it so, not-so-number one.

NaNoWriMo is officially over.

::insert cheers and sounds of people collapsing on their keyboards::

The big question everyone is asking: Did you win?

The short answer is “No”.

And yet, I am pleased. I’m not feeling like a failure. When I set out to do NaNoWriMo, I did it with the idea that as long as something came of the exercise – the practice of daily writing, turning a random idea into at least a few good scenes – I would be happy with my choice.

I started out really great. I had some solid writing days, with word counts that breezed by the daily requirement. I even wrote some on the weekend, which I never intended to do. What’s more, I was really enjoying my story.

Then, a good ways in, I pulled something in my shoulder. Searing pain radiated from there down my right arm and upwards into my ear and head. This pain made typing or even writing by hand really difficult. Some days it was impossible.

As the shoulder started to feel good enough that I could imagine sitting at my computer again, I realized that I had a good 20,000 words to go with very little time left. And I wasn’t sure of where the story needed to go at that point.

So, I had a new choice to make. I could sit down and furiously bang out 20,000 words that might make me stab myself in the eye upon reading them, or I could give myself permission to stop.

I wrote some more, bringing my total word count to around 40,000. With three days left to November, I stopped.

I know. Some of you hardcore NaNo’ers are screaming “nooooo!” That many words in three days is totally doable. And you are right. When it comes to numbers, I can crank out words with the best of them.

But here is what I learned about myself when it comes to writing over the course of NaNoWriMo.

• Routine, daily writing is good for me. But when it comes to working on a novel, daily writing on the novel with a forced word count leaves me drained and uninspired some days.
• I am unable to write something and leave it on the page if I know in that instant that it is crap. I can live with the occasional spelling error, grammar mistake, or less than perfect word. But if the idea seems bad, or the dialogue isn’t flowing, I really can’t give myself permission to be awful.
• There is a great deal I can accomplish if I make the decision to do so. Making the decision is the hardest part.
• I missed blogging. True story.
• If I play ABC songs from Youtube on a constant loop, it will keep the kid busy while I write, but it doesn’t do much for inspiring a scene.
• In line with that bullet point, I am seriously considering writing a book about being a parent.

There is a little part of me that wanted to “win”. I wanted to conquer the word count goal of 50,000. But, learning something from this whole exercise is the great prize for me, so for now, I am satisfied.

And, it means I am back. I missed you all.

Fellow NaNoWriMo writers, how did you do? What lessons, if any, did you learn about yourself and your writing? 

Monday Madness – A Roman Holiday

I have much to catch up today. My NaNoWriMo pace was going nicely last week, along with all my other obligations (well, maybe not all…the house needs cleaning).

But, I took a break this weekend to shoot some photos for friends. It was a great working break to take. Here are a few shots from the shoot.

Checkin' out her man.

Roman Holiday inspired.

 

Taken at the very end of the day. We want to go back here when we have light.

Gimme a Break

Yesterday I returned from a 4 day vacation with my family on the beach.  It was a great opportunity to relax and spend time with my parents, a few of my siblings, their spouses, and of course, my husband and kid.

The first day out, I was sitting in a shallow spot of the Gulf, enjoying the calm waters, running my hands under the sand.  Nature’s spa treatment.

While sitting in the water relaxing, I ran my fingers through the sand beneath me and felt something.  I pulled it out of the water and there it was.  My first ever sand dollar!   In all my years of going to the beach, I’ve always wanted to find a sand dollar, but I’ve never found so much as a piece of one.

I was feeling pretty excited, declaring this the “Best beach trip EVER!” repeatedly.  Shortly after, walking out into slightly deeper water, I felt something beneath my feet.  Lots and lots of somethings.  We had stumbled on to a bed (a huge bed) of LIVE sand dollars.  They were everywhere.  My dad, husband, and I stood there, picking them up with our feet* and checking them out.

Over the next few days, while simply sitting in the water I found tons of sand dollars (dead and alive), conch shells, and even disturbed a sleeping horseshoe crab**.

I forgot my camera, so iPhone photos are all I have.

Treat Yo'self.

It is really exciting to find something when you aren’t looking for it; it makes it that much more surprising.  Not only did I find pretty things to bring back from our little trip, but I came up with some new ideas for my NaNoWriMo novel while I was relaxing.  I wasn’t trying to plot or think about a scene or anything like that.  It just popped up in my mind while I was relaxing.

When prepping for something like NaNo, I hear a lot of people upping word counts and working furiously to prepare.  So, to all of you pushing yourself to the limit, don’t forget to give your mind (and body) a little breather.  Your brain may reward you with something unexpected.

*If you have never handled live sand dollars for a period of time, let it be known, they will die your skin orange.

**Upon unintentionally unearthing the horseshoe crab, I discovered my father moves just as swiftly as his younger years when something crawls across his foot.

Waste and Writing

In the past few years we’ve attempted to be more conscientious about the waste we produce in our household. We recycle glass, plastic, and any paper product our local recycling plant will accept.  We use cloth bags when we shop.  The kid runs around in cloth diapers rather than disposable. We own a large rain barrel that we use to water our plants.

There is more we could be doing, but it is a start.  The next step I would like to take is composting.  I’m a bit of a researcher, so I need to read more to decide the best way to do it.

Some months ago, while cleaning the kitchen, I came across a sweet potato and a garnet yam that were well past their prime.  Although I hadn’t started composting yet, I decided to throw them in the yard rather than toss them in the trash.  I opened the back door, aimed for the back corner, and hurled the potatoes there.

Many months later, the corner of my yard is covered in two enormous vines.

Left:

Sweet Potato Vine

Right:

Garnet Yam Vine

Also, I am guessing.  I threw them out the door, so I can’t know for sure where they landed.

 

Kinda cool, right?

The vines are pretty and hearty.  I mean, they’ve survived without any help from me. While they look cool, I figured that they were strictly ornamental.  I mean, I didn’t do anything special.  The last time I tried to grow anything edible, it took a lot more work on my part.  Warding off bugs and nematodes, making sure things get pollinated, kill more bugs, etc…

But then, crawling in the dirt, what did I see?

And then I saw these…

Like creepy fingers coming up to get me...

I managed to not only grow pretty green things, but grow something edible.  Or potentially edible (they need to get bigger).  I’m now kind of excited about cutting the vines back and reading up on them so I can give them extra care and really grow some yummy stuff.

All from tossing out something that should have been trash.

Which got me thinking.  I’m participating in NaNoWriMo this year.  I’ve never participated before and the concept sounds a little insane at first.  50,000 words in one month. Practically a novel in 30 days.  What could I possibly produce other than something I’ll just toss in a drawer or the trash when December comes?

But then I thought of the old wrinkly yam and what it produced. Sure, this is going to be a stellar crop to fill my dinner table through the fall season.  But it’s a start.  I may even get a few meals out of it.  Even if I don’t, it has me excited about the prospect of a future crop, and encouraged me to feel like I can grow something worthwhile.

NaNoWriMo will be my wrinkly yam.  I won’t produce a best seller by the end of the month, but their may be some really worthwhile scenes and characters in those 50,000 words.  I may even get an actual book out of it.  And if I don’t, I will at least be excited as I realize how much I can produce in 30 days.

So, what’s your wrinkly yam? Writers, will you be participating in NaNoWriMo this year?

In line with discussing how we can waste less, have you joined #gowithout?  What could you skip in order to give to someone who is in need?